Jan
Lifelong Friends
We were thick as thieves when we were kids, classmates year after year in a small parochial school in Brookfield, Connecticut. Julie and I linked up in fourth grade as two of the newbies in a class that had been together since first grade. Theresa and I made a slightly slower connection, one that built up speed through high school (she was a much needed spice in my life). Diane came in 7th grade and, well, she and I bonded over General Hospital of all things.
We had the kind of friendship that simply was, is, and will always be.
Unfortunately, over the years, life (countless moves, new relationships, etc) decreased our contact to things like Christmas cards and the occasional email. But travel brought Julie and I back in contact…and then Theresa…and then, thanks to facebook, Diane as well. And now that I’m living in the New York area once again, we met up over the Thanksgiving holiday for the first time (as a full group) in twenty-five years.
We started the night at a local Panera, simply catching up on the highlights in each other’s lives. Then, we moved on…staying out until way after midnight, simply enjoying one another’s company and not wanting the evening to end.
When we finally called it a night, I think I smiled all the way home. During the drive, I found myself thinking about the quote I’d selected to run alongside my senior year picture in our high school yearbook: To make a friend takes a minute. To be a friend takes a lifetime.
These ladies have been part of my life since I was a little girl. They were there when the writing bug took hold, cheering me on from the sidelines whether I could hear them or not (and dubbing me “the driven one”).
We’ve gone on to experience a multitude of life’s changes including marriage, children, divorce, sickness, etc. And while we may not have been together physically for all of it, our bonds are tight enough that we can talk about it in hindsight while still looking forward.
Three of the four of us (Diane couldn’t make it) got together just this past week. Julie bought her husband (great guy), I hosted (along with my special guy), and Theresa sprinkled that magical spice over the room that I treasure more and more with each passing day. We talked. We laughed. We pulled out Guesstures and rocked the room. And we laughed some more.
And throughout the night I was reminded again and again of how special childhood friends are. They know your core in a way very few do. There is no pretense. No worry that you’re being studied or analyzed. No pressure to change a hair on your head. Because they embrace you for who you are…
How about you? Any childhood friends still in your life today? What makes them special?
~Elizabeth
January 6th, 2010 at 7:44 am
I went back for one reunion ==25 I think — and our band geek table was a blast. We talked and laughed and remembered. My band of girls broke up right after high school – an evil plot centered around a lie. Then my ex cocooned me for twenty years. And the fact I lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere Idaho didn’t help build close friendships. Now I treasure every friendship I have, close and far away. Although I’m not always good at caring for the friendship.
January 6th, 2010 at 9:06 am
I was a loner/bookworm growing up and the one childhood friend I had was lost when we both moved away. I do treasure the friends that I have now. What makes them special is that no matter how long we haven’t seen or talked to each other, it’s like we seen or talked yesterday.
January 6th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
Had a close friend in high school — smart, funny, liked to laugh.
I married her.
Good move, that.
January 6th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
What a great topic! After going to my 20 yr high school reunion I re-connected on facebook with over 30 people! Although my graduating class was 220, there were about 20 of us that ended up in the same classes over the 4 years and it is great to maintain that connection. There were 2 friends that I was especially close with from earlier school years—Sam and Carrie…Sam and I were in band together, worked the same part time jobs (supermarket, hospital nurse aides–definitely a lot of stories to tell from that one!), and then both attended Ithaca College, so we road tripped in my ’78 Camaro into the snow belt!
. Then she brought the kids to one of my games, and they painted me a picture to take home.
I just had coffee with Sam over Christmas–she lives in NJ again with her husband and 3 kids. Even though we don’t get to talk often, when we get together is is just like old times—and so very fun!
Carrie moved to Vermont, and this past April I realized that the hockey tournament I was going to was only a few miles away. I went up a day early and stayed at her house–I arrived very late and we were up until 2am chatting; I met her husband, we took her 2 kids to the park, did a hike, and topped it off with going to the original Ben & Jerry’s
These new memories combined with all the old ones are what put life things in perspective and remind me of how fortunate I am in so many ways.
January 6th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
I DO have 2 very special friends – deebie, who I went to grade school & high school with and Diana, who i went to high school & college with. The 3 of us were a force to be dealt with (we thought) in high school! But we still get together at least quarterly and without meaning to, we ground each other and remind each other where we came from and where we’ve been and that in between stuff, as much as it has helped shaped who we are today, is just the fluff on top of who we were formed to be back when we were 7. The wrinkles don’t matter, the extra pounds don’t matter – we can still laugh like little girls!!
January 6th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
I have/had a best friend since 3rd grade. Our backdoors faced each other. We’ve drifted in and out of each others lives through the years. When we’ve reconnected, here and there, we pick up like we’ve never missed a beat. And what’s really ironic is that once when we drifted (we’re both from FL) away from each other, it ended up that we both ended up north of Atlanta living just 4 miles apart!! 4 whole mile!! Unfortunately her husband is not as “flexible” with situations in my life and she and I are in the drifted apart stage. Unfortunately I think this is it for us. But…. it was nice while it lasted. I miss her but I definitely don’t miss her very opinionated husband.
As for the other posters… I am also a band geek… and thank goodness for Facebook… I’ve been able to “reconnect” with a lot of other friends who have spread out across the US.
January 7th, 2010 at 12:13 am
I LOVE all these responses. Every one of them left me smiling. But I think Mary really hit it for me…the wrinkles don’t matter, the extra pounds don’t matter, but when we get together we still giggle like little girls.
Perfect! Thanks, everyone!
January 7th, 2010 at 12:32 am
Friendships that are and will always be, through good, bad, ugly……and 25 years later, I know that if I need any of you, you will be there for me. Thanks for the memories, the giggles, but mostly….the Guesstures! We ROCK!!