Jan
The Facts of Life
My eldest daughter wants to be an actress. 
I’ve been told I should discourage her from this pursuit because so few truly make it. But having been a kid with a dream myself, I’d feel like a hypocrite if I did.
So I don’t. Rather, I encourage her to reach for whatever it is she wants to do.
Will she make it? I hope so. But if she doesn’t, at least she’ll know she tried.
Which is why it’s hard right now to see her sleeping through yet another day of school–run down from some sort of winter bug that seems particularly relentless where she is concerned. You see, this week is try-outs for the school musical. Try-outs she’s been preparing for for two weeks–first, selecting her song, and then practicing it again and again and again.
If she misses the try-outs, she’s done for this semester’s show and the sadness in her eyes is heartbreaking, truly heartbreaking. And there’s nothing I can do. Absolutely, positively nothing.
When she was little and fell down, I could kiss away the tears and cover her boo-boo with a Barney band-aid. If the tears continued to fall, a long cuddle on the couch did the trick. But now I feel helpless. Utterly helpless.
Because I get how hard it is when a hurdle you didn’t see coming is suddenly thrown up in your path. Is it life? Sure. And I know it’s something she has to learn. But I’m a mom and moms want to make things better. It’s what we do.
Cross your fingers she feels better soon and that her drama teacher allows her to audition when she’s well, okay?
In the meantime, if you’re a parent–have you ever had to watch from the sidelines as your child learns a lesson you wish they didn’t have to learn? And if you’re not a parent–do you remember a tough lesson you learned as a kid?
~Elizabeth
January 13th, 2010 at 10:03 am
Have you and she explored the community theater opportunities around where you live? While most of the roles will be for adults, there will be some kids parts in some plays. There may be a wider range of choices, in terms of content and style, and she could be learning from more experienced players and directors, which could help her as she grows from charming kid to talented ingenue. I wish her luck!
January 13th, 2010 at 2:17 pm
I hope your daugher is well enough to attend the try-outs and yes I know disappointments in not getting what you want at the moment because another situation existed which was more important. It only makes us better and stronger, but of course, it didn’t seem like that at the time.
January 13th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
God help him, The Boy wants to be a writer. Or an artist. He’s damned good at both, even if I do say so myself, but I wish I could spare him the inevitable pain.
January 13th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
The pain can be hard as acting/writing both entail so much rejection. But if they want it bad enough, they’ll find a way to deal with it. We did, Dusty.
I remember when I was a kid, how badly I wanted to win a poster contest at school one year. I think the theme had something to do with encouraging kids to read. I worked for days on it and was SO proud of it. But it didn’t win. I was crushed. But it made me try even harder the next time and that’s what I think kids today (the ones who miss out on contests because parents believe they’re “unfair”) are missing. You have to experience defeat/rejection at times. It’s life. And it’s also one of the best ways to weed out those who truly want something enough to work for it.
January 13th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Kate and Dru…she ended up making it to school. She auditioned. Now we wait. But at least she got a shot. That’s all I wanted her to have.
January 13th, 2010 at 8:30 pm
I remember the hurts and how hard it was for my son to express his feelings. Third grade I went to his G/T presentation and he was so lonely and sad – we had moved him from his first school, that it broke my heart. And he was a smart kid at a poorer school so he got beat up, a lot.
I’m glad you’re there to support your girl. I would have loved even an interest in what I was doing from my mom.
January 13th, 2010 at 9:34 pm
Fingers crossed for her. She sounds like a trouper!