May
The Danger in Assumptions
I finally did it. I read a book. It took me way longer than I’d hoped, but with deadlines and traveling, things didn’t go exactly as I’d hoped.
Still, I finished. Which gives me a book to talk about today. And remember, you don’t have to read the book to participate in the discussion. I pull a broad theme from the book for conversation purposes.
After falling in love with Wendy Wax’s ACCIDENTAL BESTSELLER last year, I was more than a little eager to read her latest book, MAGNOLIA WEDNESDAYS. 
Once again, I enjoyed this author’s descriptive language and story telling capabilities!
Here’s what the back copy says:
At forty-one, Vivien Armstrong Grayhas spent most of her life fighting to make it in investigative journalism, only to have it crumble after a bullet lodges in her backside during an expose. As if the humiliation of being the butt of everyone’s jokes isn’t enough, Vivi learns that she’s pregnant, jobless, and very hormonal. Maybe that explains why she actually says “yes” to a dreadful job covering suburban living back home in Gerogia, a column she can only bear to write incognito.
Leaving her tiny apartment in New York, she reluctantly heads south to experience the suburban soccer-mom existence through her widowed sister’s eyes. Surrounded by minivans and bake sales, she has lots of material for the column. Her sister’s ballroom dance studio becomes her undercover spot where she learns about the local life while posing as an extra dance partner. But Vivi’s little stint starts throwing her for a loop as friendships develop, and a real relationship with her sister blossoms. As she digs up her long-buried roots, and begins to secretly investigate her brother-in-law’s death, she starts to wonder if life inside the picket fence is so bad after all…
While there were lots of things that made me pause in this book, one thing jumped out at me more than anything else. Vivi assumes what life in the suburbs is like. Vivi assumes what the reaction of her baby’s father will be. Vivi assumes there’s more to her brother-in-law’s death than everyone has been led to believe. And she operates on those assumptions, hurting people (and herself) in the process.
Which leads me to today’s question. Have you ever made an assumption about someone/something that proved to be completely wrong? And/or has anyone ever assumed something erroneous about you? What happened?
~Elizabeth
May 25th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
HARD question today. I know I’m always making assumptions about people, usually I’m right though. (grin) Except don’t ask my DH about that ratio.
As far as people making assumptions about me, I go by the philosophy that it’s none of my business what other people think of me. Besides, if I really knew, I probably wouldn’t like it. I’d rather think that everyone thinks I’m wonderful, nice, kind, smart… well you get the point.
And mostly, isn’t that all you have to go on? Your assumptions? Unless you can ask directly – and sometimes the emotion stops people from doing that. Or false politeness. I usually forge ahead and ask the inappropriate questions. It’s up to you not to answer.
May 25th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I sometimes think I’ve made a bad call…and then months or years later, I find out I had it right. There’s something in the wiring that helps us sort the good eggs from the bad. My wiring…pretty darn sound.
May 25th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
When I started Graduate School, one of my Professors did not want me to teach at the University level. He assumed I wouldn’t do it well enough. It took a while, but I proved to him that I could do the job. In fact, I won the Teaching Assistant of the Year award and he became my biggest supporter. I asked him to be my thesis advisor because I knew he was tough, but fair. I knew if I passed his standards then I would sail through everyone else’s. Dr. Lopez eventually became a good friend and a man whose literary talents I respect. I think because I had to prove his assumptions wrong, I became a better student and teacher for the experience. In this case, a wrong assumption made me a better person.
May 25th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Interesting comments. I know assumptions in the past have driven me harder (a good thing) and some (not so good) have done damage. Lessons learned, I guess. Even the ones where you watched from the sidelines not sure what the heck just happened.
May 25th, 2010 at 9:34 pm
People assumed just because I was quiet and faded to the background, that I didn’t know what was going on. Little did they know and when I was recognized for my work, they were all dumbfounded.
I go with my guts and if I feel something isn’t right, then I walk away. There has been times when I didn’t go with my guts and boy did I get screwed.
May 26th, 2010 at 9:57 am
A gut is a wonderful thing, isn’t it, Dru?