Jun
Dialogue
For today’s Writing Thursday, I’ve decided to share a few dialogue tips. So here goes…
# 1. When writing dialogue for characters, read it aloud. You’ll be amazed how quickly you can pick out what’s wooden and what’s natural.
# 2. Beginning writers tend to think that people speak perfectly, with little to no contractions or skipped words. But this isn’t true. To prove this point, try being a fly on the wall at a coffee shop or mall or wherever. Listen to the way people talk. They’re not as perfect as you might think…or as perfect and wooden as you’re trying to make your characters talk.
# 3. Try a fun writing exercise to illustrate my # 2. Come up with two characters in your head. Put them in conversation but don’t allow them to say more than three words at a time. While this is an extreme, it illustrates how few words we really need to say to get our points across. Watch…
A: Where ya’ going?
B: I don’t know.
A: Taking the bus?
B: I guess. Why?
A: Just wondering.
B: Kinda bored lately.
A: Oh?
B: Yeah.
A: Hoping this helps?
B: Can’t hurt, right?
A: True.
B: (Points at bus) Here it is.
A: Well, have fun.
B: Yeah. You, too.
Pretty cool, huh? This was an exercise I used to do with my Basics in FictionWriting Class at a community college in Missouri.
Go ahead, give it a try in the comments. Three words, no more. And see if you can set a scene in our heads through your dialogue!
~Elizabeth
June 17th, 2010 at 8:34 am
Are you hungry?
Yeah, starving.
Let’s get lunch.
Sounds great–where?
The diner?
Perfect. Ready?
In a minute…(walks towards office)
Needed my jacket.
You won’t melt.
Funny. Let’s go.
June 17th, 2010 at 9:22 am
NICE, Nikki!!! Very nice!
June 17th, 2010 at 10:15 am
Work sucks.
Again?
Dragon lady’s furious.
What now?
Lost a contract.
Your fault?
Is it ever?
Dinner then?
With Margaritas? Yes.
(Nikki, I guess I’m on a food kick too….)
June 17th, 2010 at 10:43 am
Nice, Lynn. I can sense your main person’s mood purely on her dialogue (no tags, no description). Nice job!
June 17th, 2010 at 10:59 am
“I’ll be late.”
“Saturday evening?”
” ‘Fraid so. Dinner?”
“Salmon,” she said.
“That’s it?”
“Some vegetables.”
He nodded.
“Movies tonight, right?”
He looked away.
“Working tonight, too?”
“I’m sorry, Penn.”
“But you said–”
“Hammerstein botched it.”
No answer.
“Things change, Penn.”
She was quiet.
“Gotta adapt. Survive.”
A clock chimed.
“Sorry.”
She looked up.
“You understand.”
“How much longer?”
“Month.”
Her eyes closed.
“Maybe two.”
Her face slackened.
“You understand, right?”
She looked lost.
“Penn?”
Somewhere far away.
“Penn? Penelope?”
“Yes. I understand.”
“Good. Dinner, then?”
“Right. Dinner.”
“What’s this?”
She said, “Dinner.”
“Where’s the fish?”
“Change of plan.”
He prodded greens.
“Adapt,” she said.
He sampled some.
“Survive.”
“And this is?”
“Parsnip.”
“Kinda bitter.”
“Improves virility.”
He dished more.
She stood.
“You goin’ out?”
“Movie. Double feature.”
“Listen, about that–”
She hesitated.
“Don’t wait up.”
“No. I won’t.”
He winced.
“Something wrong?”
He shrugged. “Stomach.”
“You were saying?”
“I’ll be late…”
“Frank, you okay?”
He was sweating.
“Better lie down.”
He stood. Fell.
“Frank?”
“Call an ambulance.”
“I will.”
Clutched his side.
“Later.”
He looked up.
“When I’m back.”
He spasmed, trembled.
“And Frank?”
Eyes pleading now.
“I’ll be late.”
June 17th, 2010 at 11:04 am
Sorry about the single spacing. Typed it in WordPad and it didn’t translate cleanly…
June 17th, 2010 at 11:27 am
Wow, Joe. Just, wow.
June 17th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
Meeting today?
Yes
What’s the agenda?
Company policies
Do I care?
Not really
Why go?
To look good
Oh well
June 17th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Okay Joe – no fair on the complete story in 50 words or less and all dialogue… You’re good at these challenges, huh?
And killing off the cheating so and so… what veggie was that again? Might need to use it… (in my story of course—what else did you think?)
June 17th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Lynn,
Sometimes I can pull it off. Sometimes…not so much.
The plant? An alkaloid. Something akin to Nightshade, maybe. Not a happy end. But it would show up in the tox tests, so you’d need to weed some from the garden. Have your character mix them in by mistake. Sorry, officer. Thought it was a radish. Silly me.
June 17th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Well done, Dru!! I could almost sense her/his resignation. Very nice.
And Joe, I think I’ll pass on eating greens next time we cross paths.
June 17th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
My friend, I’ve yet to see you NOT pass on greens…
June 17th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Dru,
Given a choice between a company policy meeting and terminal indigestion, I think I’d take the poison. Both are painful, but the poison is a relatively quick death, where policy meetings keep you in agony for hours…
June 17th, 2010 at 6:24 pm
LOL Joe