Jul
A Blurry Line?
Every once in a while, you stumble upon a writer that just clicks with you, their books sucking you in, time and time again. And while I’m new to the work of Emily Giffin, she is no exception.
Last week, I told you about her latest novel, HEART OF THE MATTER. I enjoyed that book so much I set off to the bookstore to start reading her back list, returning 
home with her first book, SOMETHING BORROWED. And, once again, I was glued to the story that unfolded…
Here’s the blurb from the back jacket:
Rachel white is the consummate good girl. A hard-working attorney in Manhattan and diligent maid-of-honor to her best friend Darcy, Rachel has always done the right thing. But all of that changes the night of her thirtieth birthday when, after a few too many drinks, she ends up in bed with Darcy’s fiance. Although she wakes up determined to put one one-night fling behind her, Rachel is horrified to realize that she has genuine feelings for the only guy she shouldn’t. As the wedding date nears, Rachel must make a choice between her heart and her conscience. In so doing, she discovers that the lines between right and wrong can be blurry, endings aren’t always neat and sometimes you have to risk everything to win true happiness.
Interesting, huh? The book, itself, is much more intricate, calling into play healthy and unhealthy friendships, self value, etc… And it’s all good stuff. In fact, SOMETHING BORROWED is being made into a movie (and, if they stick to the story Ms. Giffin wrote, it’s gonna be a good one)!
So here’s a question (okay, maybe two) for all of you–something that popped in my head as I read this story: What, in your eyes, makes a good friend? And have you ever been in a friendship that–in hindsight– did you more harm than good?
~Elizabeth
July 6th, 2010 at 6:34 am
Someone who gets you – even if you don’t have a lot of things in common.
I’ve had several of these types of friendships where I was a stepping stone to one of their goals. A tool. And once I didn’t fit their mold of what role I should play, I was dumped.
Some of my best friends I never see and rarely talk to, yet when we do, it’s like we’ve been days between visits not years.
July 6th, 2010 at 8:42 am
Someone who doesn’t try to make you them and understands the differences between you and is there for you no matter what.
Like Lynn, I have one friend who I haven’t seen or spoken to in at least a year but when we get together, it’s like we’ve spoken the day before.
I’ve have friends who, I call them toxic, who I eventually get rid of.
July 6th, 2010 at 9:08 am
My best friend is someone who loves me for who and what I am and allows me to do the same in return. We can share anything and come out stronger in our friendship. We can cry together; laugh together; solve the world’s problems, cause some problems and at the end of the day feel so grateful for this continually growing friendship.
I am not sure I had harmful friendships but I can say that I have had friendships that didn’t last long. And that is not a bad thing. I think we are put into each other’s lives for a reason that is not necessarily life-long if the reason has been fulfilled. It is not “using” someone if the reason is not a result of a personal plan but rather a Divine plan.
I feel like I have learned something from all of my friendships – long or short lasting. Sometimes that doesn’t come to light long after the person enters my life or long after they leave it, but knowing that, I give everyone a chance to be my friend whether ultimately it hurts me or benefits me.
July 6th, 2010 at 10:03 am
To me, a friend is someone who loves you, with all the joys and responsibilities that entails and implies. Simple as that.
I think friendship is a process of discovery. Sometimes, you discover the person you’re spending time with isn’t really a friend. I guess you just have to be grateful for what that person brought to your life, remind yourself that life comes in seasons, and move on, confident that people will appear to fill the void.
July 6th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
I agree with you Lynn — a good friend ‘gets you’, and is always there for you. Someone with whom you can talk about anything with. And one of the best parts is that if it’s someone you don’e see often, and maybe don’t even get to talk often..when you get together it’s just as if you have been hanging out all the time no matter how much time has past!
The relationships that in hindsight have not been so good….the trick is to figure out how to not let it such all of your energy and emotions, which is hard. But once you can let that go it opens you up to all the good things in your life again.
July 6th, 2010 at 11:28 pm
I agree with everyone…A real friend gets you all of the time. They are the type of a friend that you may not see for years, but the momment you are together you feel the same as you always did when you were together. Those friends come few and far between.
July 7th, 2010 at 9:38 am
To me, a true friend loves you unconditionally. Plain and simple. And a real friend makes you a better person.
As for the latter part, I’ve had one or two that I eventually realized weren’t what I thought. But as Joe said, you have to realize they were there for a reason and trust that there will be more in the future…better ones.